Our story begins with an epic tale of Balfgor da Fat, da goblin big boss who was nominally in charge of da ruined temple. Balfgor was sleeping, like any good big boss does, while his lackeys mined da floor of da temple for gold, not that they had ever found any.
Suddenly, something bit Balfgor! It wasn’t a spider, or other creepy crawly, no it was one of ‘dem deadeyez! Here! In his sleeping room!
Startled awake, Balfgor looked around in da dark to see there were four dark warriors in his room!
Two of them threw open da curtains that guarded Balfgor’s beauty sleep, and rushed to block da door preventing Balfgor’s guards from entering, while da other two cravenly assaulted Balfgor as he rested atop his bed.
However, Balfgor da Fat, while very fat, is blessed of Mork (or was it Gork?). When da deadeye that bit him attempted to slam him with his unliving fist, Balfgor rippled out of da way. Then, da other dark robed casta launched some mumbly words at him, which Balfgor ducked under! Next, an evil spirit lookin’ thing possessed da deadeye, and he attempted to slam Balfgor again. Again, Balfgor rolled outta da way, dis time, wit’ ’is cunning sneakiness (or was it sneaky cunningness?), he escaped da bed and da room!
Then, Balfgor employed da primary goblin counter ambush tactic, and bravely ran away!
He ran down da hall towards da Deadtalka’ that paid him to guard this area! However, one of da deadeyez, da one that bit him, was chasing him! Da deadeye charged and attempted to slam Balfgor da Fat once again, but Balfgor nimbly dodged out of da way, and with his his sneaky cunningness (or was it cunning sneakiness?), he shifted forward again. Unfortunately, da dark robed casta came out, and with his deathly magicks, he struck Balfgor with bubbling necrotic shards that slowed Balfgor’s steps!
Balfgor, though, was blessed by Gork (or was it Mork?), and da dark castas ill magic slid right off Balfgor da Fat, so he kept running!
He shouted da super secret pass phrase that none were to know, “and life shall fail in the end!”, at da top of his lungs so that he wouldn’t be harmed by da nasty magicky circle trapz as he descended lower to where da Deadtalka said he was never to enter, but then he was attacked by the Deadtalkaz zombiez!
While he was fighting with one, da deadeye that bit him swept past him and stood with da zombiez to block his escape, even though da zombiez were tryin ta kill da deadeye too!
So Balfgor da Fat bravely turned and ran da other way, back up da stairs!
While he did so, he dodged several of da zombiez awkward advances, and using his sneaky cunningness (or was it his cunning sneakiness?), he shifted forward, only to stop at da top of da stairs and scream again!
Da okar jelly, da scary jelly, had sensed him running down da forbidden stairs, and was completely blocking da way out! It slammed him with one of its jellypods and swallowed him up!
Balfgor da Fat was melting!
Balfgor, though, was blessed of Mork (or was it Gork?), and so he escaped out da other side of da jelly, taking minimum meltiness, and wiped off da acid as he fled!
Da deadeye was now trapped between da zombiez and da jelly, who he was bashing for blocking his way.
Balfgor da Fat, bloodied, and scared, bravely ran out of da ruined temple’s main entrance, and escaped into da night. To help ensure his escape, he threw his key da opposite way he ran, shouting, “You’ll need dis to go lower!” Dat was a lie, but hey, dem deadeyez ain’t so smart.
So ends this tale of Balfgor da Fat, Blessed of Gork (or was it Mork?).